i’ve been writing actual letters for a month now

i’m sitting here with another long message on my screen and it feels completely surreal. in a world where most people just ghost after two messages or send a "u up?" at midnight, i found someone who actually wants to write. we aren't just sending "how was your day" texts; we’re sending these massive, rambling letters about everything from childhood fears to the specific way the light hits the kitchen in the morning. we’ve been at this for over four weeks and we haven't even met in person yet.

it’s this incredible slow burn that feels so different from the usual "swipe-meet-hookup" cycle i've been stuck in for years. you get to know the architecture of someone’s mind before you even know the sound of their laugh. there’s something terrifyingly intimate about it. you can't hide behind a filtered photo or a witty one-liner when you're three paragraphs deep into why you stopped playing the violin when you were twelve. honestly, it's making me realize how much we usually rush the emotional stuff just to get to the physical part.

i’ve started thinking about what happens when we finally do meet up next week. the pressure is kind of insane because the emotional connection is already a 10/10, but the physical reality is still a total mystery. i found myself browsing through some third date ideas earlier today, which feels weirdly optimistic, but i can't help it. when you’ve spent a month building this kind of foundation, a quick twenty-minute coffee date feels like it wouldn't even scratch the surface. i want something that lasts hours, like our letters do.

here is what i've realized about this "old school" approach:

my friends think i’m being "too romantic" or that i'm setting myself up for a letdown if the chemistry isn't there in person. maybe they're right? but even if we meet and there's no "spark," i don't think i'll regret this month. it's been a long time since i felt this seen by another human being. it's like we're building our own little world, one paragraph at a time. i’m nervous as hell for the first date, but mostly i’m just excited to finally see the person who has been living in my head for the last thirty days. wish me luck, i guess. i really hope the reality lives up to the prose.